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10 Ways to Survive a Break Up
Break
ups are never easy. You are a bundle of jealous, hurt,
angry, resentful emotions. Your mood can swing from
depression to bitter anger. The only thing you seem to think
about is what went wrong, can I get him/her back or I’ll
show him/her. The main theme in your life is ‘How can I feel
better right NOW?’
Here
are some suggestions that I hope will help.
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- Friends and Family. I know this may
seem obvious but lean on your friends and family. Spend
time doing things together, not just talking and
thinking about the break up. If this isn’t enough, you
may consider a support group or counseling.
- Resist the urge to
beg. You want them back but not at any price. At the
time it may seem the right thing to do but think about
it. In the long run they will lose respect for you. This
doesn’t mean don’t try to work things out. If there is a
chance you can work things out, go for it. However, if
your partner has made it clear that in their eyes, the
relationship is over, begging will not help and may hurt
the situation.
- Make a change in your
life. Find a new way to spend your time. Take a
class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do
anything that will make you feel good about yourself.
Your ego is probably feeling bruised right now. Find a
way to counteract that.
- Understand your
mistakes but also realize that you are not a failure.
Don’t beat yourself up. If you made mistakes, then yes,
learn from them but dwelling on what might have been
won’t help. It takes two to make a relationship, it also
takes two to end one. You weren’t the only one who made
mistakes. It may not seem useful to you now, but a lot
of times the things you learned from this experience
will make your next relationship stronger, as long as
you make the necessary changes.
- Start Dating. You
won’t feel like it at first, but don’t stay away from
other people for an extended period of time. Going out
with other people can help the healing process and boast
your ego.
- Don’t fall prey to
others. There will be people trying to sell you this
or that, guaranteed to win back your partner. Don’t let
people take advantage of you while you are vulnerable.
If you do buy something, understand that while there is
a chance it could help, there is also a chance that it
won’t.
- Take up a hobby.
Learn something new. There is probably something you’ve
always wanted to try but never had the time. You have
the time, do it.
- Don’t rush into
another relationship. While starting to date can
help you feel better, it’s not a good idea to rush right
into another relationship. Take time to heal before
making any commitments or someone will probably end up
getting hurt.
- Avoid dwelling on it.
I know it’s impossible not to think about it, but,
if you find yourself doing so for an extended period of
time, find a way to take your mind off of it. Call a
friend; go to the gym, whatever comes to mind. If
nothing seems to work, try this: Make a list of reasons
why you are better off now. This could include I have
time to do the things I want to do. I can date anyone I
want to. I can find a partner who will appreciate me the
way I am and stop wasting time on a doomed relationship.
Think about the things they did that drove you crazy,
because there are some. Don’t look back with rose
colored glasses and only remember the good things. Don’t
have the idea in your head that if only we were back
together I would be happy. Wrong. Wouldn’t they have a
lot to answer for if you did get back together? Leaving
you was probably the biggest mistake they will ever
make. Let them dwell on it, you move on!
- Build your ego.
I’ve touched on this already but it is very important.
Find ways to feel better about yourself. This could be
anything from getting a haircut to buying some new
clothes. You could take a class on self improvement. If
nothing else, you should do this: Make a list of things
that make you a great person. Don’t sit there and tell
me you can’t think of anything. I don’t buy it. Try
again. Are you kind? Patient? Intelligent? Cook like a
pro? Can fix anything? There are things that make you
great. WRITE them down and whenever you feel low, read
your list and add to it. You are you and you are great
so don’t let anyone ever make you feel that you aren’t.
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